Halfway

Last week marked the halfway point in twin pregnancy! As exciting as reaching that maker is, it came with a flood of anxiety. Will wanted to wait to open a box “just in case” and a twin blog I read (and love) did a series in August on birth stories, that I clearly was not in a good place to be reading all of the complications and NICU stays each story told. In trickled fear little by little. It’s crazy to me how all of a sudden that sneaky little fear can grab a hold of my heart. And how easy it can be to give power to it. We opened that box anyway, and I stopped reading all the stories. The most recent pregnancy after infertility and loss (PAIL) support group came at just the right time. Being in the same room with those friends made me feel better, without even having to say anything. Each person in that room wrestles with fear and anxiety. Loren said, you can’t put your faith in your body, you have to put your faith in God. And oh my gosh when she said that, I knew that’s exactly what I needed to hear and be reminded of. Since then, that fear has slowly trickled away. Kim gave everyone in the group pregnancy prayer cards that I have used every single morning the past two weeks to put my faith in God with this pregnancy. To take action each day and declare God’s word. To kick fear in the teeth. To steady my heart. To trust.

Father, in Jesus’ name, I confess Your Word this day over my pregnancy and the birth of my children. I stand in faith during this pregnancy and birth, not giving any room to fear, but possessing power, love, and a sound mind, as Your Word promises in 2 Timothy 1:7…”

I have been very conscious about posting too much, or sharing too much. I pause because all I see are the faces of friends, or comments from readers of this blog, and their tender hearts. My infertility wounds run deep, I remember the pain. The last thing I want to do is have my happiness be a slap across the face of someone else who may be in a season of wait, experiencing loss, facing another failed cycle, or strain in their marriage due to infertility. Since we are at the halfway point, I am going to share a few pictures for your halftime entertainment. This is your out if you want to stop reading!

The biggest news of all, we are having a boy and a girl!

genders1 genders

Will has been my worker bee knocking out a huge list of projects. He put the cribs together after paddling 13 miles on the MS River in a kayak race. I have overheard him on several occasions tell people asking how I am, “she rests a lot.” And he has been referring to the babies as, “them babies.”

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Will invested in a dad book and I invested in every pair of stretchy pants I could get my hands on

fathersday stretchypants

We also took a baby class at the hospital with my support group friends and their husbands

babyclass

My PAIL group! (missing a couple of girls) I don’t know what I would do without each of them!

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Our most recent ultrasound was this morning and both babies look beautiful, which is all Will and I need to hear! Please keep us in your prayers that the second half of this pregnancy progresses without complications like the first half!

5 thoughts on “Halfway

  1. I’ve been following your blog and I’m so happy for your miracle pregnancy! I also struggled with infertility for 2 1/2 years. I just got some great news a couple weeks ago after our first round of IVF my husband and I found out that were pregnant! It still seems unbelievable and I’m so shocked and happy but I also have been wrestling with lots of anxiety and fear. I’m trying to rely on God as much as I did throughout my infertility but it feels like I have so much more to lose. I know that’s the devil trying to get to me and I’m putting my faith in God. I read about these pregnancy cards that you mentioned that someone gave you at your group. Is there anyway you would be able to share those? Or do you know where I could get some? Thank you so much and I am very happy for you 🙂 April Wesley

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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  2. I heard a mom of twins tell another expectant mother of twins something along these lines: “When the time comes you will be so uncomfortable, and you’d be delighted if they came early. But full-term babies are easier in the long run.” So praying that you carry these precious ones to full term.

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  3. Hi April!
    Thank you for reading the blog! A HUGE congratulations to you and your husband! Yay! I am cheering your strong baby on : )
    The book, “Prayers That Avail Much,” was recommended to my friend Kim. She typed up the prayers, “The Unborn Child,” and “Godly Order in Pregnancy and Childbirth,” on cards and gave them to us.
    I took a picture of each prayer card for you, but it isn’t letting me attach the pictures to this comment. I Googled both prayers, and they came up so you should be able to pull them up too!
    You are absolutely right about the anxiety that comes with pregnancy after infertility. I just have to keep reminding myself to let my faith be bigger than my fear. And to stop worrying about something that hasn’t, and may not ever, happen!

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  4. First of all, let me officially say congrats!!

    How sweet of you to see and tend to our tender hearts and be hesitant to share…
    That being said, while I don’t struggle with infertility, I struggle. We all do. It’s part of the journey.
    So please, don’t be afraid to share your joy. When you share the joy you are experiencing after the sorrow and pain it reminds us of the cyclical process of the pascal mystery in our lives. After Good Friday comes Easter Sunday. When you share your joy, you share the proof of the resurrection, the proof that good does prevail! You can bring such hope to people who are sitting in their Good Friday’s of their life!
    You have so much that you can share with others. Don’t let your fear stop you! Just give God the glory and spread the good news!

    Oh how I wish we lived closer! I have so much to share about twins and NICU time and birthing babies!! It’s such an honor to raise twins! and I’m sure you guys will be AMAZING parents 🙂 Adam and I are just an email or phone call away!
    Praying for you them babies!

    Love and prayers, Jen

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  5. You have absolutely no idea how happy your blog makes me. None. None at all. No way possible. Can’t possibly. I think back to the day I met you–& today. And I am overwhelmed. I love watching these stories. (And I love support groups too!)

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